If only!

Posted by 2e0tpp on 06/01/2017 in 2017, January |

Mum has gone and I so badly wanted her to live to see me marry someone and have a family i won’t see her smile when i acheive something or when i have a family i won’t be able to let mum meet them and i will never be able to explain how i feel to anyone again, I am as lonely now as ever and wish happiness would come my way.

I’ve done something silly which means the one person that made me smile and i trusted probably won’t come anywhere near me now. this person is lovely but maybe my fingers type before i think about how it will make someone feel or how i upset people without realising it.

If only i’d trust myself and wouldn’t keep expecting to be made to be a fool all the time sadly i’m starting to fall back into the shell i used to be in i’m starting to hide from people again as every time i make a appearance i seem to make a mess of things. 2017 is going to be a year where i go back to hiding from life again, because who really wants to know a person like me.

I would love just once in my life to actually treat someone on valentines day, throughout my who 43 yrs i’ve never ever received a valentine or dared to ask anyone, because i’m terriffied that they will say no…

Thought i might add a photo which is on my phone and is the last photo i had with my mum. taken on the 21st of August 2016.

R.I.P

Valerie Ann Finney

06/10/1942 to 11/10/2016

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